Dean or Grant?

Are you attracted to the Dean or the Grant? Do you want he bad boy or the gentleman?

James Dean's Rebel Without a Cause made him into the icon of his generation. His character defiantly rejected the values of his elders while desperately aching to “belong” and attempting to find a purpose in life. Dean's performance spoke on behalf of disenchanted, disenfranchised teenagers and gave them a hero they could respect and admire. Dean only lived long enough to complete three films, the latter being East of Eden, Giant, all in the two years of 1955-56. His premature death in a car crash at the age of 24 cemented his legendary status. So, is it better to burn out then fade away?

Cary Grant was known for his combination of virility, sexuality and the stand-up gentleman. He had invented a man-of-the-world persona. Although, he appeared in 72 films in his lifetime he is best remembered for An Affair to Remember, To Catch a Thief and North by Northwest. He retired from film at 62 and he lived to be 82 years old. Once told by an interviewer, "Everybody would like to be Cary Grant," Grant is said to have replied, "So would I." So, a gentleman lives longer than the rebel but has a more persistent and somewhat boring life?

Why are most women attracted to the unstable bad boys more often than the nice guys? Mystery, uncertainty, adventure? But it is a double edged sword since you also want to eventually settle down. Some women think they can tame the wild or fix the broken...give it up and move on. You want crazy you can get it but don't try to kill the very thing that attracted you in the first place. You are never going to change us. You be you and let us be us...nice guy or bad boy...we are who we are.

Women like the wild side that their parents warned them against. No one wants boring. If a woman labels you a, “nice guy,” you can throw away your chance of ever being anything more than her friend because she is not attracted to you. You don’t want to be a nice guy. Nice guys are stuck in the “friend zone” category. As a nice guy you may have a lot of women friends. That is fine if that is all you want. However, if you can balance the good with the bad you can get anywhere.

Just like the majority, men want a lady in life and a wildcat behind closed doors. Similarly, most women like the gentleman in public and the bad boy in private.

The chain smoking life of the party womanizing drunk is always going to be that. The polite, stable, financially secure, play it safe and do it all by the books man will always be that. We are a direct product of where we came from and our parents molded us in the way they wanted us to be. It is hard to shake and break the mold.

There are plenty of Deans and Grants for all of you women out there, but choose wisely. The older you get the shorter the return policy.

So, my advice to you women is to STOP caring. Don't always make yourself available. Most people want what they can’t have. The good guys will have to take initiative and break out a little or he won't. The bad boy will have to take you seriously and show respect or he won't. You can't change people but you can change your reaction to them. You can also show respect for yourself and demand what you want. Whether you are a Betty or Veronica or a Ginger or Maryanne, or whether you are attracted to the Dean or the Grant…none of us truly fit a single stereotype. The best thing you can do is be yourself and put out there what you want to get back. Communicate = reciprocate. If not, delete.

By Trey Mitchell