HER: I'm single and sad. :(
me: sorry. but the show must go on!
HER: Yep! But, the show is going on without me!
me: boo....ah, such is life...relationships are not easy...nor do i think they get easier the older you get...ups and downs...right people wrong time and wrong people right time. it is ok to do stupid things IN love but not FOR love.
HER: I just hate change. I get used to people and routines and ways of life. I get too attached, and my identity gets involved. Good line.
me: i think we all do that to a degree. some more than others. some more often than others
HER: Definitely some more than others. I don't do it often though, so when I do -- it's baaaad.
me: well, thanks, i hope i pull some good ones out of my ass since i call myself a writer. i got ya...i used to be like that...id don't fall often but when i do it is long and hard i have commitment issues either way...too much or not enough. balance is the key.
HER: I just don't know if it's even worth it. Is my sadness right now more than my happiness when I was happy? I think it might be. To me, that's not worth it. I'd rather just not feel anything again...I am always WAY too committed when I decide to be.
me: ok, i call BS and it is understandable right now...but if you have a wreck do you never drive again? if you get too drunk do you never drink again? if your heart gets hurt do you never love again? i think you do, we all do. it is a never-ending search, it is the american way. the american dream.
HER: You're right. I just hate going from having a best friend that knows every move I make and everything that's going on in my life to not being able to contact that person at all. Why does it have to be like that? I'm still the same person; so is he. So why are we so different TODAY rather than 2 days ago???? I mean, I know the answer but it's just so sad to me...
me: you can, but it keeps the hurt going longer and it complicates everything.
HER: He was the one that I talked to when things were going shitty; now he's the one person I simply CAN'T talk to.
me: i have done it many times....way more difficult but diff people deal with loss in diff ways
HER: I hope this situation turns out favorable. I'm not sure what I mean by that exactly, but that's what I'm praying for!
me: lovers come and go but friends are forever...ok, family is forever but many friends, real friends will always be there. never put all your eggs in one basket...always keep a few for emergencies.
HER: Absolutely. They remind me where my bootstraps are when I need to pick myself back up by 'em! My eggs are all stuck together, I think. They all go together from one basket to another. Very frustrating!
me: just keep the two six-packs instead of the entire dozen.
HER: Hahaha!! Very well said. :)
me: eggs are only stuck together if they are scrambled maybe go for poached next time or even better a single sunny side up!
HER: Speaking of sunny, what a MISERABLE day to be feeling so sorry for myself! God, it's just so symbolic
me: no, just coincidence...it is all about perspective. i thought about this last night...if i could describe my outlook…or attitude it would be mostly sunny, light wind, H70 L45.
HER: I just hope the last time I had with him isn't the last time I'll have with him. It is such a painful thought.... the "never again" this or the "never again" that.... torture. My high would be 85 I think. Low of probably 60. I'm pretty cold-natured.
me: the best thing you can do for yourself is as a friend recently said to me...be a peacock show your colors, strut, stand tall proud and confident. it will be more attractive.
HER: Yep! And just totally fake the hell out of it! I like it!!!
me: be a true friend without expectations or judgment, show your ability to not need but want. we often are more attracted to the chase.
HER: Definitely without expectations. A lesson well-learned through the friendships of my years, but one that I learned to never take personally.
me: the challenge. also, men have a hard time settling down...routine is boring. easy is lame. we need constant stimulation. Change.
HER: You are a wise man. Things didn't go down the way I wanted them to with this particular person -- the way I had envisioned -- and I'm not used to failing. I simply do not fail. Therefore the challenge is/has been presented, and I took it hook, line and sinker.
me: you did not fail. takes two to tango. don't take it personally. sometimes things just don't work out and there is no one to blame. blame is lame anyway. bounce back woman. it is better to be alone than with the wrong person.
HER: I actually am consumed with the thought that he will NEVER be able to replace me. I'm a pretty fucking cool chick.
me: and that is ok. better that than playing the loser, the victim or the failure. anyway, you get back what you put out there. positive attracts the same as well as negative attracts the same. be positive. live positive. life is too short to whine or wallow. when you can scream with joy and swim like a champion.
HER: That's me! A champion! If you could see me now, I look like a champ! Yeah right!!!
me: :) one day at a time....and remember, it could always be worse....waaaaaay worse. many of us lucky to have the chance to do anything other than just survive. we have the chance to thrive. have a great day!
HER: You fail at trying to be a hard-ass; you're an awesome person. Haha -- I know your secret. ;) Thanks.