I Fall In Love All The Time

Love
· Pronunciation: \ˈləv\
· Function: noun
· Etymology: Middle English, from Old English lufu
· a strong positive emotion of regard and affection
· any object of warm affection or devotion or admiration
· have a great affection or liking for
· used as terms of endearment
· get pleasure from
· a deep feeling of sexual desire and attraction


I fall in love all the time…in my head.

I know better to let my heart get involved. It is a long uphill climb on a slippery slope. When I ask myself what I want in a woman it is easier to answer what I don’t want. I have had what I don’t want. After all these years of long dead end roads, I could easily feel nothing. Yet I still have a romantic hidden inside, curled up naked protecting that dream of love.

When I was younger I believed in ‘movie love’. Now that I am older and have experienced many attempts to discover that elusive love, I know that it does not exist. Although, I do believe in a realistic form of it is possible to achieve.

Do you remember young love in high school when you never wanted that last goodnight kiss to end? When you could talk on the phone for hours about anything and nothing at all? To get a love note was such a personal rush and to finally declare that you were ‘going with’ someone was a monumental thrill!

In adult form, these situations of emotional bliss still prevail. To get an unexpected text, email or voice mail ‘just to say hello’ is just as invigorating as finding that three cent prize in the bottom of that caramel coated popcorn. And that was when you were already I on a sugar high!

So often it is the little things that mean so much. Let's say you are out of town and you stop at a little country store or even a truck stop and you buy some cheap little trinket to give her upon your return. It makes her laugh and she knows that you were thinking of her. Or maybe you are meeting new people and you have a great conversation you can’t wait to tell her about later. The last thing you want to hear is her voice before you go to sleep. And I could go on...

It surprises even me that I am missing things that I have only been privileged enough to have a glimpse of. I must believe in real love or I have nothing to hope for. Does wishing for more money, a better job, a new car or a big house really bring happiness? When you are dying will you be telling stories on your death bed about that one summer in your mid thirties when you and your convertible Mercedes spent so much time cruising with the top down blaring ‘your song’? I don’t think so.

One of my new favorite quotes is “Life is not measured by the breaths we take but the moments that take our breath away.” Is it so wrong to want to share irreversible and irreplaceable moments in time with someone so special that you can’t imagine your life without them?

I know that there are beautiful, intelligent, genuine women with a great sense of humor that at the same time have self-worth, come from good families and want but don't need to be in a relationship. I have met a few. Unfortunately, someone had already shown them how amazing they are by expressing respect and love for them.

I know some men relish in the idea of living the endless bachelor life of only responsibility for them. I wonder if the quick fix of the next woman they conquer is not just as much an addiction. Just as the aging rocker uses drugs and sex to constantly relive up the high of the adoration of thousands of people he doesn’t even know. Isn’t the short intense rush of cotton candy nothing in comparison to a full meal that satisfies you for much longer?

When most of us were younger we had little knowledge and no fear. I hardly knew that the word consequence existed. In my mind, there was no failure and certainly no pain. Thinking usually occurred after the action. As we get older what were simple decisions are now convoluted with more choices and most often even larger consequences for our actions.

From experience, I know that giving everything to the wrong person is worse than giving to no one at all. I think to be not alone, but with you is one of the most beneficial and courageous things we can do. I know in the end I just need to start with the basics...to be with someone that accepts me as I am and vice versa.

It sure has seemed like a ghost hunt thus far...but maybe I am starting to believe in ghosts.

By Trey Mitchell

Give It a Rest

A vacation is like hitting the reset button. Every time I leave, I come back with a sense of renewal. There is nothing like physically and mentally stepping outside of your daily life. It is hard to get a fresh and true perspective when you are too close to the large canvas on which you are painting your life.

It is easy to overlook simple things in life when we are easily distracted by daily tasks. Work, bills, kids, money, stress, etc, often overshadow the fact that we have more freedom than we realize. I remember when I was self-employed and was stressing over living hand to mouth when a friend demonstrated an example of living in the moment and being grateful. After a few minutes upon arriving at his house he abruptly said, ‘Follow me.’ We exited his home and walked across the street where he sat on a small hill. He told me to sit with him as he stared slightly over the trees. We sat in silence for a few minutes then he turned to me and said, ‘This moment, right here, right now will never be the same.’ I must admit I was a little miffed.

He went on to point out the changing of the leaves, as it was Fall. The leaves were their most vibrant of colors just before they fell from the trees. The reds and yellows were picturesque. Basically, he was illustrating that we were witnessing a moment in time that could never be duplicated or relived. A few days later things would look completely different but we took the time to notice and enjoy the wonder of nature as the season changed. I instantly was less stressed and more calm. Such a simple break from self-absorption opened my eyes to the fact that we are so small and that so much exists outside of each of us. There is a difference between looking and seeing.

I recently took a trip to Denver to see a friend for his birthday. It is amazing that in these economic times, I was not only able to afford to but physically able to step onto a plane and in two hours be miles across the country. While I was there we took a trip out to Red Rocks which is roughly thirty minutes outside of the city. It is this amazing outdoor venue that has hosted events from music to film since the early 1900’s. The red color of the rock is due to the combination of the amount of iron and the natural weathering. It is no Grand Canyon but it is amazing what nature can do. Both are great illustrations of how small we are.

We all know right now times are tough. They are probably the worst I have seen in my lifetime, yet it is no Great Depression. There are many areas that are doing far worse than we are. In fact, there is always someone who has it worse than you. I had a horrific run of four years a while back and I am lucky I made it through. Once the smoke cleared I have not looked at things the same way. Suddenly the simple things meant so much. It reminded me how fortunate I am and that it could always be worse. I know my experiences pale in comparison to others but I certainly walked away with a new refreshed view on life.

I may not have a successful photography or writing career and I may have not found the love of my life, but I am thankful to even have a job when so many don't right now. Stability in an unstable world is monumental to well being. So much of it is about simply having a positive attitude. So often we get caught up in what we don't have instead of what we do. I know the American mentality is to want more, bigger, better, faster, etc but we also need to take a break and enjoy what we have. I may be a contradiction to the traditional American dreamer as I am trying to enjoy life along the way instead of killing myself to gain all I can then retire and enjoy it when I am old. What is the point in having when you don't enjoy it until later?

In the spirit of the month of traditional Thanksgiving I urge you to take a non-traditional vacation. It doesn’t have to be a costly trip to a far away place. Take a walk in the park, take a leisure drive in the country, or go to a movie by yourself. Be thankful for all the things you take for granted. There is nothing like loss to make you regret not appreciating what you had all along. In a temporary, uncontrollable and unpredictable world be aware that the very idea of a vacation is a luxury.

By Trey Mitchell