Not All Bags Ride for Free

I kept falling over
I kept looking backward
I went broke believing
That the simple should be hard

All we are we are

And every day is a start of something beautiful

All We Are - Matt Nathanson

We all have baggage. Some have more than others. I don't think you ever get over some things but you learn how to deal with them. It is freeing to leave some things behind. Knowing where, why and how is the key.

Life is constantly throwing us curve balls. We try to keep things in perspective and under control but there are always things we can’t control. So we learn to deal with the unexpected. Sometimes the unexpected brings situations that result in unwanted feelings. Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional. Often people in our lives disappoint us. However, you can’t change people but you can change your reaction to them.

If you have lived life at all, you have experienced the extreme highs and lows. Unfortunately, lows are part of life but we can gain strength from it. There is something heroic about overcoming adversity. It builds character. I would rather bear the load of knowledge than run with the lightness of inexperience.

I had four years that crushed me emotionally, physically and financially. I wanted to move away to start over. I thought maybe out West or even Europe. I needed to clear my head and just shed all the places and things that reminded me of the most recent and worst years of my life. But thankfully fear of the unknown kept me in one place long enough to realize that no matter where you run to the baggage goes with you. So I decided to stay and sort my life out so I could get a fresh start when I was ready. I am glad I did since it took me longer to clean the slate than I would have even imagined. You have the keys to lock away the past.

I had never been to California before and it was one of the few states I had not been to. I went two weekends back to back. The first was to Southern California to make some serious decisions about my future and the next was to Northern California to clear my head and make a plan as a result of my choices. Sometimes a different perspective allows us to see things in more clearly.

During that second weekend in California I played out different scenarios. Would it be healthy to leave my support network of friends and family? Was it smart to try to start over all on my own in a new city looking for a new job with no friends? Did I need to be alone to regain my life? Isolation is not always the answer. Why try to start over and take unresolved issues with you?

Not all bags ride for free. Think of a relationship as a one passenger plane. Yet a relationship usually consists of more than one person. There is only enough room for luggage or the other passenger. So what if there is too much baggage to leave it behind? There is always a choice and usually a sacrifice.

Be comfortable with who you are and make peace with where you have been. Forgive yourself and others. You have to release negativity or it will eat you up inside. Life is short, blame is lame. Some things change you forever but you can control if it is for the better or worse. You can choose to see things positively or not. It is amazing how resilient we have the ability to be. Experiences can make you richer than money can.

Today does not know yesterday; tomorrows are not built on what would have, could have or should have been.

By Trey Mitchell

Happy Blue Year

The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be. - unknown

The older you get the more ringing in the New Year can be like another birthday. You are always thankful for another one but it also reminds you of what you have and have not accomplished. I always get the New Year’s blues.

Sometimes the sheer exhaustion from the end of a year leaves the heart’s essential passion out to dry, wrung out like a rag is rid of its moisture. On the other hand one might be on a high like the naivete of a puppy tossing all the seriousness of life to the wind of carelessness. The amazing highs and lows of life has seemed to slip by me the older I get. The gut-wrenching cries of the voice of the blues or the soul of love crooning by the window of our protective shell. Do we lock things out or lock them in? At what point do we begin to expect too little of the craved and always expect too much of the unwanted? Do you remember how swimming in the cool refreshment with friends made everything on a heavy summer day new again? Ever wonder if the longing for love gets in the way of accepting it? Can you feel the cool breeze of a New Year springing through your hair blowing the minutely existent troubles into a distant memory? Has life always been this complicated or has getting older made it easier to except the collecting dirt in the wheel of our everyday?

As each year passes the days seem to slip right off the calendar. They go by so quickly it seems that an entire week, month and year disappear all together. Like money, they come slowly yet they seem to dissolve more quickly that you can comprehend. Just as laughter often makes us forget the joke, our reactions can sometimes overshadow the simple things in life. Countless seconds of each day I wonder. I question where I am going on this personal map of uncertainty. With one slight veer from the main road I can find myself on a dissipating dirt road. For the last few years I have been fighting to higher ground for a clear view of a sign. At times along the way tripping seems drastically easier than getting back up. Even when I do the dust still clings to me. I want an old calendar, an infinite hourglass, an updated map and a fresh change of clothes.

I believe that some of us go through life with purpose. Some have purpose assigned to them, some just know their purpose and some search for it. However, I do not neatly fall into any those categories and I wish I did. At one time I thought I knew my purpose but somehow I lost it along the way. I am hoping that either my purpose finds me or that I find it. However, I have a strong suspicion it will not seek me out. For a while I thought my purpose was to help others by taking on the role of Robin Hood. I thought I was a revolutionary fighting for the underdogs. Then I lost myself in that so I tried to reclaim my life in a selfish stage. After that experiment, I realized I needed to find a way again to help others. Some find their purpose through religion, others through isolation and some through adventure. Some people try to lose themselves in distractions. Distractions can be fun but I refuse to lose myself only to never return.

As we add numbers to our age we also gain experience. To me, 'if we knew then what we know now' is moot. We can never be who we were. It is impossible. We are constantly changing and as we change so do our goals. Maybe we should strive to be who we have never been instead of trying to relive who we already were.

We live in a world full of mirrors yet we are constantly looking beyond them keeping them out of focus. Why is the end of the year the main trigger to truly take time reflect on the past? Simultaneously, the New Year begins so why not embrace the potential of the unknown? We can only learn more than we know now. After all, we can not predict, direct or control the future. We can only live it.

by Trey Mitchell